Saturday, October 8, 2022

A Little Off - Sept 11 2022

 

A Little Off

Sept 11 2022


Language changes.


I was once eccentric, a character

weird, at worst.

Thought of as different

interesting

a little off.

    . . . Maybe a lot!


Now

I can confidently say

I am neurodivergent;

it's my brain, not me

I was born this way.


But what am I

if not my brain?


And so, nothing really changes.

Except now we talk about fate

the accident of birth

wonky DNA,

and not about agency

mistakes

the casting of blame.


The explanatory power

of a single word

amazes me.

Like the crippled, handicapped, disabled,

the challenged

and differently able

I now have a ramp

a level glance

a cut in the curb,

a place

in the public square.


Now

with this understanding

self-acceptance comes more easily.

And instead of endlessly circling

as I dissect my choices

and question the past,

find myself looking ahead

owning what I have.


If the reader has been wondering about my singular focus on writing ( a poem almost every day!) this might explain. I have enough features of Asperger's (high-functioning autism would be the more correct terminology) to have self-diagnosed as such. One of those typical traits is a very passionate focus on some very narrow interest. More hedge hog than fox, one could say; more specialist than generalist. This is the first time I've ever written about it. Probably the last. Because I'm not at all comfortable with confessional poetry, or poetry as therapy.


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