Taking Care - Jan 3 2024

 

Taking Care

Jan 3 2024

All her life, she took care.

It was far too late in life

I learned to admire this

instead of feeling jealous

that it meant less time for me.

Tried to emulate her kindness.

Because we all need to be needed.

And because doing good

is good for the soul.

I failed, of course.

Didn't give it my all.

Didn't keep at it.

Or perhaps, it just wasn't in me from the start.

While she was gifted

at doing for others

taking care.

Which she did

with a gentle persistence

that hid her steel.

And how she was able to see

who was in need;

especially those

too shy or proud to ask.

But if virtue is genuine

can it also be instrumental?

After all, we are social creatures,

and naturally desire

to form alliances

accumulate social capital.

Was the endorphin rush she felt

simply evolution at work?

Or do we choose for ourselves?

Her loving nature

and openness,

my selfishness and reserve?

Or is it simply women's work;

that we men, by and large

are too limited

too hard?

In the end, the circle closed.

I cared for her

as best I could,

and she learned to accept

her new dependency;

the help of the loved ones

you'd expect it of,

as well as the strangers and friends

she'd always been present for.

But even then

with gratitude and grace.

We say taking care, not giving

and I think she understood.

That you get out more

than you put in.

That virtue

is its own reward.

That you may die poor

and still leave behind

riches of a different sort.