A Flicker of Dread - Dec 7 2022

 

A Flicker of Dread

Dec 7 2022

Eventually

you stop counting in months.

Then the half years 

become immaterial.

And it doesn't take long

before each new birthday

brings a flicker of dread

if not denial.

Until, near the end

getting the decade right

is close enough.

After all, in your 70s

says it all.

Finally, you forget how old you are,

a failing memory

both a mercy and a curse.

Or, if you're still sharp

start cheating higher,

keeping score

by claiming to be older;

the winner

at living long and well.

For years

my mother was 39.

She wasn't fooling anyone

except perhaps herself.

Now   —  in her late 90s, and counting  —

she would laugh, looking back

at her reluctance to turn 40.

Because everything is relative.

Because age is just a number.

Because there is much about our younger selves

we're glad to have outgrown.