Duct Tape and Spackle - April 28 2023

 

Duct Tape and Spackle

April 28 2023

The renovation did not go well.

But when they reassured me

the place had good bones

I relented,

picturing sturdy wooden beams

a solid foundation.

The same

when it came to my own restructuring.

A tear-down would have been better;

the place thoroughly levelled,

leaving me a vacant lot

all the debris hauled away.

But how do you deny who you are,

renounce yourself?

Instead, the temptation is to tinker;

fussing around the edges,

rearranging the chairs,

making minor cosmetic changes.

Like fresh paint,

doing something with the hair.

Self-improvement.

Personal growth.

Actualization.

Sure.

Or complacency.

Continuing to live

in ramshackle comfort.

The place

nicely settled on its foundation.

The patina of age

that comes from benign neglect.

The familiar mess

you don't notice anymore.

So the contractor had to go.

And even though I’m not handy

was on my own.

Duct tape and spackle

recycled paint,

re-used nails

hammered straight.

At home with myself

behind closed doors.

Call it resignation

or call it acceptance.

Either way

same old, same old.