Desperate to Believe - Jan 8 2026

 

Desperate to Believe

Jan 8 2026

I keep waiting

for that clear moonless night

I will look up and see a light

lost among the stars,

then hypnotically watch

as it steadily grows

  . . . descending closer

until I find myself enveloped

in an unearthly glow.

And then, all I will remember 

is stumbling from a fragmented dream

that no one will believe 

and I’ll be too circumspect

to share.

Huddled here

in my quiet outpost,

a small clearing

hemmed in by rocks and trees

with the wilderness closing in.

Where else, after all

do flying saucers

and their alien occupants

find human subjects to probe?

Isn’t it always in the dark;

a lonely road

run-down farm

uninhabited hinterland?

Or have the extraterrestrials

felt they’ll do better

moving on;

overlooking me,

just as, it seems, I’m always overlooked.

Unworthy even of them,

despite having travelled eons

to this backward planet

in a minor galaxy 

to observe or interfere,

perhaps make mischief

just for fun.

A skeptic, who is desperate to believe.

Who wants there to be more

in this vast indifferent universe

than humankind.

Intelligent life

that didn’t doom itself

so soon in its existence,

too clever and hubristic 

for its own good

   . . . let alone 

the planet it despoiled. 

Of course, the physics don’t work,

the intersection in time

is clearly absurd.

And why earth;

why care

about an insignificant planet

too far from the centre

to be of any concern?

Yet I want to be picked.

To have an adventure

feel special

be an avatar 

of how earthlings are,

even though I’m hardly typical

 — in fact, a bad example

if not the worst.

So in the dead of night

when the sky is clear

I keep stealing glances overhead. 

Both excited, and afraid

and wondering what I’ll say

should I feel the spotlight target me;

that is

if my waking dream doesn't vanish

and anyone bothers to ask.

I'm a great admirer of Neil deGrasse Tyson, and he has effectively debunked any notion of extraterrestrial visitation.

Nevertheless, niggling doubts remain.

Apparently, there's a documentary in which credible high-ranking military figures (and well-briefed politicians) present disturbing evidence of ...something!

And not everyone who claims to have been abducted by aliens is attention-seeking, delusional, or mentally unbalanced. Many are credible people with a reputation to protect. They're reluctant to come forward, not looking for notoriety. And their stories are remarkably similar in even the small details. So unless they're colluding or doing deep dives into the literature, one can't help but wonder.

In the past, of course, people saw angels, not aliens. So what is imagined or how an experience is framed is embedded in the cultural moment: when religion ruled people's lives, it was angels; and when we started going to space and fictionalizing other worlds, it became aliens.

If all this does turn out to be delusional, perhaps the reason is that we're looking for a saviour at a time when the earth's environment and our geopolitical situation are both looking dire. And, of course -- as Tyson amply demonstrates -- people who are not scientifically literate are prone to misinterpret easily explained phenomena.

I'm a skeptic. But I have to admit, a saviour these days would be welcome! Not that malevolent intent isn't also possible. And since it's natural to project human nature onto the other, perhaps this is the more common feeling: not relief that there are extraterrestrials among us, but fear they mean harm.