A Nice Solid Navy - Dec 22 2025

 

A Nice Solid Navy

Dec 22 2025

Dads like practical gifts.

Something he’d buy for himself,

and certainly not expensive

sentimental 

or meant to impress.

Even better

instead of a present, a simple card,

because what could he possibly need

let alone want?

A tough man to buy for.

So we usually went with a tie,

which even for a kid

is hard to get wrong.

And because he wore a suit to work everyday

like real grown-ups do

and the serious man that he was.

I would have loved a novelty tie

but was over-ruled.

You know the kind,

ones that squirt water,

feature zaftig ladies

dancing the hula,

or cartoon characters

fat Santas

bad puns.

No, it had to be sensible

like paisley or striped

or a nice solid navy.

In other words, conservative 

which is also how he voted.

The only suit I own

is the black one

with a plain black tie

I bought for his funeral.

I think he would have approved;

a practical suit

I can use for everything

from weddings to Bar Mitzvahs

to job interviews. 

He left behind

a closet full of ties

draped neatly on a wooden rack

he built himself.

Hard to tell which were worn

and which simply kept.

For sentimental reasons, I guess.

Who knew

he had a soft spot

he kept behind closed doors.

One of those days I just had to write — something, anything. But absolutely no inspiration came: no ideas, no passionate need to put into words. And several false starts left me cold and thinking of just moving on. 

Then I thought of the present-buying frenzy this time of year, and that it’s ridiculous to buy anything for the adults in your life: Christmas is for kids, not grown-ups (the gift part, that is; the magic part lives on); and besides that, we all have everything we need anyway. 

But kids buy for their parents (the adults in their lives, and the only adults that should get). Our family — well assimilated Jews, but not that well — didn’t do Christmas, but there were still birthdays. And for dads, it might be aftershave or cheap cufflinks, a new drill (if you’re flush) or history book. But most likely it’s a tie:  the default gift that’s hard to screw up.