Melancholy - Aug 5 2022

 

Melancholy

Aug 5 2022

Melancholy.

A feeling of thoughtful sadness

with no apparent cause.

If you dissect the word

you get black bile,

so time has clearly softened

the caustic resentment

it once implied.

A word

for when you’re at a loose end

in quiet contemplation

on a dull rainy day.

One of those all-day rains

that's steady, not hard;

soaking into ground

instead of overflowing,

and, like mellow jazz

plays gently on the roof

instead of hammering down.

The way a jazz drummer

is far more comfortable

lightly brushing a snare

than rocking out.

Hard to tell

if this feels good or bad.

To people like me

who tend to be pensive

and introspective

it can be pleasant enough.

When am I not melancholy?

But a man of action, I suspect

would fidget restlessly,

searching desperately

for any distraction

any way out.

End up in the rain

just to get away from himself;

hair plastered down,

feet squishing

in swamped shoes

sopping socks.

And someone prone to depression

would descend even deeper into despair,

ruminating

raising doubts

second guessing.

Rain

runs down the glass

in erratic rivulets.

And while the light has steadily dimmed,

creeping in

like a black cat

on padded feet,

I've been unaware;

until I find myself in the dark

in my usual chair

but not my usual rush,

thinking through a poem

about nothing much

and stuck on how to end.

But such a lovely feeling

I don't really care.

So set adrift

in this melancholic trance

I am loathe to interrupt,

I give up the struggle

and stop.

A word I like, but have trouble pronouncing. Is the emphasis on the 2nd or 3rd syllable?!!