The Law of Large Numbers - Aug 18 2020

The Law of Large Numbers

Aug 18 2020

Somewhere under the curve

you will find yourself.

In the spacious middle

beneath its rounded peak,

shoulder to shoulder

amidst the teeming throngs;

reassured

how normal you are.

Or ducking under

the downward slope

of its smoothly ruled perimeter.

Like a cramped attic

repeatedly bumping your head.

Or a struggling poet's dank garret;

a place that only sounds romantic

if you haven't actually been there.

Then the oddballs, misfits, and cranks,

the eccentrics

who go about their business

mercifully oblivious

to being judged,

yet are somehow happier

than any other.

Who inhabit the long tail

of the normal curve,

sometimes so far out

they go unseen.

Someone once said

there are lies

damned lies

and statistics.

Who didn't understand

how the law of large numbers

and the rule of averages

so neatly predict us.

And that it's nice to have a place

where you know you belong.

Under the fat part of the curve

where you're never alone.

Or in the long tail,

where every teenager feels

they've been cornered by fate;

but where a man of my age

has come to find himself

contentedly home.

I suspect this may be the first poem ever to be written about the normal distribution curve! But I've often thought a good nickname for me would be “long tail”, because that's where I often find myself. Like an anthropologist from Mars, nose pressed against the glass, peering in at these strange earth creatures with a mix of bewilderment and wonder. So I'm gratified this poem came to me. And all it took was being in a well-caffeinated state of mind and simply seeing the word “normal” – a highly problematic word, I know, since even when it's used in a purely statistical sense it seems to presume a value judgment (and should probably, at best, only be used ironically) – to spark it.

It's true about eccentrics: they are obliviously unselfconscious, and they do tend to enjoy above average happiness. And weren't we all once awkward teenagers? Didn't we almost all long to be “normal”, accepted, cool; but almost always felt we were not?

Long Tail was the original title. It summarizes the theme of the poem, and succinctly gets right to its heart. But while it has the vagueness and inscrutability (who wouldn't immediately be misled into thinking of an animal, reading it?) that make a title compelling, I thought The Law of Large Numbers would intrigue a reader that much more.