Wondering How They Got There
Dec 27 2024
It’s like when you drive
but can’t remember getting there;
how a part of your brain took over
while your mind
wandered off on its own.
How you start to wonder
what else goes on down there
in the unplumbed murk,
that black box
beneath the thin veneer of consciousness
that presumes it’s all there is.
It felt the same, sitting on the park bench
where I often went
to spend time alone;
my eyes glazing over
with the unfocused gaze
of the hundred foot stare.
So while light must have entered
it never got to my brain,
as I sat
unaware
losing track of time.
Day dreaming.
Collecting my thoughts.
Self-absorbed to a fault.
So I resented the man
who settled in beside me.
At a sensible distance, yes,
but then he made eye contact
smiled warmly
invited me to talk.
Which I unexpectedly did;
stiffly at first,
then easily, fluidly, unguardedly.
How surprising,
that an unplanned conversation
with a stranger on a bench
could leave me feeling good
for the rest of the day.
And now, when I’m feeling brave
I ry to engage as well.
Amazing
what strangers will say,
how anonymity
somehow gives permission,
what stories
random people have to tell.
What secrets they’ll share
if you only let them speak
and listen respectfully.
And what you’ll learn
when you didn’t think anyone else
had similar fears
regrets
self-doubt,
felt guilt, shame, and envy
the same as you,
underwent love and loss
as all people do.
How much more we have in common
than what sets us apart.
Other people
who ended up where they didn’t expect
when they started out in life,
and looking back
would shake their heads
wondering how they got there.
I just discovered a new podcast called Strangers on a Bench, in which just this happens. Unremarkable people you pass every day without noticing, and an anonymous stranger in a big metropolis who is pleasantly non-threatening and invites them to talk.
This brings to mind a study that suggested engaging total strangers in conversation — as hard as it is, and which most subjects felt would be a negative experience of rejection and hostility — not only went very well, but significantly increased both party’s happiness. Other people aren’t as bad as we imagine! And “stranger danger” is highly exaggerated.
I tend to be very closed, staying in my protective shell with my elbows out. Or, if “closed” is too generous a word, I suppose I could also say “unfriendly”, “a little paranoid”, “judgmental”. Certainly not a gregarious outgoing extrovert.
Clearly, I have much to learn from the narrator of this poem!
Strangers on a Bench Podcast – Apple Podcasts
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