Invited Guest - Feb 28 2024

 

Invited Guest

Feb 28 2024

The distant relatives

   —  who were great aunts,

someone's uncle,

or a cousin once removed, if not a second one

whatever those are   —

briefly entered our lives

on those special occasions

when everyone comes.

Who might just as well be strangers

despite the ties of blood,

and related in ways

I still don't grasp

let alone keep track of.

They were always ancient

to my callow eyes;

had old peoples' breath,

smoked cigarettes,

and weren't quite sure

which brother I was.

He seemed forgetful,

while she carried a giant purse

she wouldn’t part with,

and was doused in cloying scent.

They'd go in for the hug

as if I was a long-lost son

who was somehow still a boy,

bony hands grasping me

and soft fleshy bodies

squeezing my recoiling one

for far too long.

Now, unexpectedly,

that uncle is what I've become;

a stranger

from a faraway place

who appears at weddings and funerals

like an extra on a movie set

filling in the crowd.

An obligatory relative

you’re introduced to

and smile politely at

then promptly forget.

I'm still not a hugger.

And by now, even the nephew's sons

and cousin's daughters

are too grown-up for that.

So we shake hands

make small talk

plan our escape.

They, who seem to know everyone,

return

to the circle of laughter

they briefly left.

And I, drink in hand

to my wanderings;

forcing a smile

and nodding politely

at the many strangers I pass,

an invited guest

doing his best to belong.

I suspect that most readers won't identify with this. That I'm unusual in being a lousy son, let alone a good brother. In leading a mostly hermetic life. So I can barely keep track of nephews and nieces, let alone their offspring. Forget about cousin's (and we hardly have any!) daughters and sons; and — how time flies — their spouses and progeny.

I remember one-off encounters as a child with mysterious great aunts (or were they great-greats?) who seemed far more interested in me than I was in them. My memory is similar to the description here. Strangers. Somehow related, or so I was told. Unwanted intimacy. Not creepy. Just uncomfortable.