Put to Rest - Dec 17 2023

 

Put to Rest

Dec 17 2023

Sometimes, heads are covered in prayer.

While others doff their hats

bow respectfully.

The congregation, standing as one,

or the believer

prostrating himself

arms outstretched;

a humble supplicant

before whatever;

the holy Father,

sacred idol,

pantheon.

But however it's expressed

does anyone keep track

of the absent signs

unanswered prayers?

The inscrutable gods,

whose mysterious ways

are beyond understanding.

And anyway

must it be transactional?

Isn't the offering itself

comfort enough?

The unburdening

of sharing your sorrows, being heard;

the reassurance

of feeling held

by a power greater than yourself?

While we non-believers

do not stand as one

or bow in unison.

Have no prayers

we know by heart,

no ritual

to make a frightening world

seem less so.

Atheists

must cope alone

and contend with our sins.

If only comfort was enough.

If only received wisdom

and holy writ

could still the mind

and mollify the skeptic.

Still, I mouth the words,

stand

when the congregation rises,

even if a little behind.

They seem so sure

of the meaning of life

and what comes after,

so comforted

by the covenant

of hope and care.

I envy this certainty.

And also recognized their doubts.

Yes, doubts,

because I know faith is hard,

especially in the dark of night

in the wee hours

when you feel most alone.

But still

I find belief impossible.

It's not in me

to a be follower

devoted acolyte.

If only ritual

could satisfy.

If only tradition

answered.

If only comfort was enough

to still my mind

and give me heart.

If only I could surrender;

all this tortured questioning

put to rest.