Old Soul - July 8 2021

 

Old Soul

July 8 2021

My beard is going grey.

How have I not noticed this?

Because like most men of a certain age

I happily give mirrors a pass

and rarely see myself.

Except when I have no choice, that is

and it's time for a trim;

chin jutting out, neck swivelling,

the hum of the razor

on my tautly stretched skin.

But now, standing close

in the unforgiving light

with the dimmer turned-up all the way

there is no denying my vintage.

The crow's feet wrinkles

and laugh lines deepening,

dark half moons

beneath each eye.

Which have always made me look older;

but then I consoled myself

that I was an old soul in a young body

and my venerable eyes

were my window on the world.

But now, with the sink swabbed

razor recharged

and lights fully dimmed

I am many years younger,

good for one more week

before I see myself again.

And then, like greeting a long lost friend

I'll be surprised by how much he's aged.

You're looking great, I'll say,

because there are greater truths than surface

and kindness is a virtue

and white lies don't count.

While inside, I'm shaking my head

at the relentlessness of time

and how he's let himself go.

There is definitely a gender gap here. Men have the privilege of slipping through life without paying much attention to the fine points of appearance. While women are afflicted with make-up and make-overs and beauty tips, and are more likely the objects of body shaming and self-consciousness. The “fairer sex” is disproportionately judged in terms of looks. So I wonder how surprising it might be to a member of the opposite sex (I know, I know; sex and gender are not binary!) that someone like me never looks at himself in the mirror unless it's purely practical. And how, close to the mirror and in good light, the view can surprise even me!

This is the iconic story of the high school reunion: all the people you haven't seen in years, and how surprised you are by how old they've all gotten!