The Things I've Lost - June 5 2025

 

The Things I’ve Lost

June 5 2025

The things I've lost.

Car keys, of course.

An odd sock

lost in the dryer.

My train of thought.

That forgotten name

or fugitive word

that would not come to me;

lost

until the moment had passed.

The frayed tapestry of dreams

glimpsed as it recedes,

trailing away

in that limbic state

just before awakening.

Which would still make no sense

if its unravelling threads

could somehow be restored.

Lost plans

best laid or not.

Lost chances,

fingers crossed

it won't be my last.

And, of course

the money squandered and gambles I’ve lost

dice tossed

eyes closed;

all in

after showing my hand,

or crapping out entirely.

Or worse,

the crucial shot

never taken at all.

The temper

I’ve too easily lost.

Which, I regret, is more crudely smelted ore

than tempered steel;

as brittle

as cheap pig iron,

impure

as metal from scrap.

Luckily, lost tempers cool fast;

like a struck match

that burns your hand

but quickly burns out.

The times I’ve lost my way,

wandering

with no destination

or sense of place.

A fugue state

of trying to find

where and what

and who I was.

Lost hopes;

which, like flightless birds

are easy prey.

And the lost loves,

which may or may not have been worth

the wisdom gained.

Youth,

which happens so slowly

you hardly notice

until it’s nearly gone.

And old age,

when it’s loss after loss

like it or not.

But all is not.

The car keys

now hanging in their spot.

The mismatched socks

no one’s bothered by.

And the lost temper

I’ve found again;

the embers may still glow,

but I’ve learned to stop

be more generous

count to 10.

Dreams and hopes,

to love again?

I haven’t stopped looking,

retracing my steps

and remembering when;

finding the courage,

keeping up spirits,

losing my fears.

Which are the hardest to let go of.

And though you might think they’ve been lost

still lurk

beneath your outward calm

ready to be triggered.

Like land mines

from the last war

you’re sure were long defused

dismantled,

disarmed;

buried

beneath the surface

you’re just about to cross.