From the Outside In

May 11 2016

Just as small birds, returning north

warble, preen, strut,

ruffle feathers, huff and puff

defending a bare branch

in the war of attraction

I am displaying myself,

even though I am long past

the age of musth.

In a cool spring, impatient for summer

a loud Hawaiian shirt;

redolent

of sun and surf,

flowering

with ripe exotic blooms.

I heard the actor say

he can feel the himself change

as make-up goes on

layer-by-layer,

the costume conceals

the frail pretender.

How he inhabits the role

from the outside in.

I know how superficial this seems.

That the clothes make the man.

That you can change your appearance

and transform how you feel.

But here it is, a cool spring

and I feel like high summer

with its long indolent days

decadent heat.

Winter,

bundled-up

in dark puffy material

like faceless automatons.

When clothing reminds us of death;

freeze, if you dress wrong.

But now, the drab little warblers

are fiercely preening,

claiming their homes

calling out for mates.

A cacophony of bird-song

fills the fragrant air.

And me, in my loud Hawaiian shirt,

a riot of primary colour

crying out to be seen.

I’m a lousy dresser.  I’m oblivious to clothes, contemptuous of fashion. My choices are purely functional. So it was an odd choice, on that unseasonably warm day, when I grabbed that loud shirt and wore it for the first time.

It was also when that old cliché “the clothes make the man” started making sense. I can see how similar this is to cognitive-behavioural therapy. Not the “cognitive” part, which is all about re-framing, about modulating your feelings and thought. I mean the “behavioural” part, which suggests that if you simply go through the motions, real change will follow. That is, change your behaviour and you’ll change yourself. Or, to again resort to cliché, “fake it ‘till you make it”!

It’s spring, of course, so the world is busy pairing up, and all the males are fiercely displaying. Which is also a good reason to dress well:  create an impression …cultivate a persona …demonstrate your fitness to the opposite sex! Hmm, I wonder if this has something to do with the creation of art, as well?

In my rough first draft, the last line of the opening stanza was “attraction”, which I soon realized I’d already used. So I had to choose. Which is when “rut” and “musth” came to mind. Ungulates rut, locking horns; bull elephants go into musth. I know the word is a little obscure. But the meaning is perfect, as is the rhyme. So it stayed.