Heartbreak Hill
March 8 2014


I always wanted to live
at the end of a long driveway.
Where the sound of traffic fades,
majestic trees
enclose you.
Like entering a cool dark cathedral,
except for the brief zenith
of sun.

Whoever built my house
deferred to geography.
Did not steamroll, bulldoze, fill
heartbreak hill,
blast bedrock
for drainage, ditching.
So impervious

even glaciers could not shift.

So every spring
when hard-packed snow
softens into gumbo
the hill becomes impassable.
Intractable tires
whirring nowhere,
cars careening sideways.

When we resign ourselves
to be snow-stayed,
and hope for dry heat
April sun
nudging above the trees.
When we dread the inevitable dump
of heavy snow
we prayed wouldn't come
for once, late spring.

But it's good for the soul
to be marooned
by events you can't control.
To cede to nature her due,
acknowledge
our powerlessness.

To be humbled
by heartbreak hill.
Which, one day
some energetic soul will engineer.
Will stand back, hands on hips
admiring his handiwork
like all the men before him.

Having paved and drained and straightened.
Having hacked back from the edge
its virgin trees,
profaned
my cool dark refuge.


Not much to say except "true story". The message, of course, is humility, reverence for nature, and -- once again -- the almost mystical power trees seems to have over me.

There is a bit of a religious motif that runs through the piece, and gives it some loose coherence. Although, where I'm usually too heavy-handed, I may have gone a bit light this time. There is "cathedral" and "pray(er)" and "good for the soul". And something of man's hubris before creation, as he stands admiringly, hands on hips. All of which lead to the weighty "profane"; and, in the repetition of "cool dark", its call-back to "cathedral". Although here, it has more of a pagan or pantheistic sensibility than a Judeo-Christian one.

I made a conscious decision to use contractions instead of the more formal "would not" and "it is" and "cannot". I think they help give the piece a more conversational tone (or perhaps I should say "vulgar", in keeping with the religious trope!) I think the complete sentences, as well as the restraint in my use of adjectives and adverbs (actually, there isn't a single one of those hated adverbs) and flowery language, also contribute to that less formal and more inviting tone. Which is something I'm always striving for; but often fail at, I think. (On the other hand, now that I come to think of it, I guess a lot of people would find “impervious”, “intractable”, “zenith”, and “cede” more appropriate to written language than everyday spoken language!)