Invisible - Aug 18 2024

 

Invisible

Aug 18 2024

The tap-tap-tap

of the blind man’s cane

as he scuttles along

the crowded concrete walkway;

like a water bug

on long thin legs,

skittering over a pond

of polished glass.

He pauses here and there

to feel out the terrain;

a seasoned mariner

sounding the depths.

He is exquisitely adept,

gripping the cane

like a douser wields his stick,

witching water

from barren earth;

as if his touch

extended to its tip.

And owl-like, cocks his head,

picking up sounds

you’d never know you’d missed.

I watch,

admiring his deftness

while trying trying not to stare.

Because it’s impolite.

Because what would others think.

And because even knowing he can’t see

my self-conscious self

feels his eyes on me.

Behind glasses

tinted almost black

he is inscrutable.

They not only conceal his wandering eye

but make him seem apart;

indifferent

to the flashing neon signs

and loud window displays.

Serene

amidst the juvenile men

and their adolescent swagger,

hungering for attention

and hogging all the space,

the skimpily dressed girls

who revel in the male gaze

yet also shrink in its glare.

I’m grateful for sight

but also somehow envy him.

To be out in the world,

yet so self-contained

he could just as well be alone.

To be as confident as Moses

raising his hand to the sea,

forging ahead

as if the throng will surely part

to usher him on.

And despite never lifting their eyes

from ever tempting screens,

the crowd of passersby

does seamlessly part;

as if some sixth sense

lets them know he’s there.

While I, with all my senses intact

feel out of place

and in the way.

And despite habitually trying

to make myself small,

feel the spotlight

falling on me;

its hot blinding glare

follow everywhere

I go.

With age, I've gained enough wisdom to realize that no one is actually paying attention to me. Or, really, to anyone. We are all so self-absorbed and solipsistic, anonymous strangers simply don't register. You can easily ghost through the world, hide in plain site.

It also helps that we most often only see what we expect to see. The eye registers the light and the brain processes it, but the higher centres simply have trouble mapping anything unexpected, anything that doesn't have a pre-existing template to fit it into.