Past Lives - July 15 2024

 

Past Lives

July 15 2024

I think back

to all the ambition

uncertainty

and self-delusion,

the weight of expectation

that worked both ways.

Classes were big back then,

and all 38 of us

despite our anxious excitement

imagined great things

on graduation.

Celebrity and glamour

hefty bank accounts.

The class brain

with her Nobel Prize,

the big-man-on-campus

glad-handing his way

to high office.

Or the kid who was good at drawing

becoming the next Picasso,

the noble tragedy

of the suffering artist

rewarded with posthumous fame.

Just as we imagine past lives,

when we were all either royalty

or historical,

but never feudal serfs

or scullery maids.

Although the athletes

who peak early

and had plenty of chances to test themselves

were more down to earth;

they pretty much knew

beer league and coaching their kids

would be about it.

None of which

were file clerk

used cars

appliance repair.

Filling out forms or sweeping floors,

irate customers

cussing at you.

And certainly not

telemarketing.

Back when we were all above average,

and the fullness of time

would serve us well.

No thought

that time runs out

and inertia overwhelms.

That the biggest class

is just a small pond.

That the high point

had already passed.

That we would look back

years hence

at such youthful exuberance

and wryly shake our heads,

wondering “what if”

we could do it all again?