Sincerely Yours
July 5 2010


The letter to the editor begins
“Dear Sir”.
Or better still “The Editor”? . . . “To whom it may concern”?
Really — whom?!!
Not to mention the formal fussiness
the mousy deference.
But then again
there’s the presumption of “Sir”,
as if only a man had the gravitas
to head this great institution.
More likely a summer intern,
pasty skin pimpled and razor-nicked
consigned to the mailroom.
And isn’t “Dear” awfully familiar,
more suited to your great Aunt from Rimouski,
asking Miss Manners' advice?

By this time
my hot-blooded self-righteousness
is about to lose its edge.
So this concerned citizen
intent on setting the world straight
settles for “To The Editor”,
sober, succinct
and sexless.
Permission to rant, contend, and vent,
then slip in something sarcastic
the brilliant coup de grace.

For a week, I skip to the letters page,
search for my name
in print —
satisfied
to have gotten the last word.
But once again, nothing.
Once again, unheard.

“Dear Sir”
I find myself tempted
“Thank you for your excellent newspaper.
I find it splendid
for fish wrap
kitty litter
the compost bin.
And kindling, of course.
Sincerely Yours . . .”