Saturday, May 24, 2025

Sun Shower - May 24 2025

 

Sun Shower

May 24 2025


Sun showers

remind me of lightning in a snowstorm,

oxymorons

contradicting themselves.

And both are like a man at war with himself,

unsure

who he is.

which way to go.


But still, when a warm sun breaks through

cold drizzle

on a dreary day

I'm filled with hope

that all ends well;

that misery doesn’t last,

that this too shall pass

if only one waits.


And lightning

when it’s clearly out of place

proclaims that anything is possible.

That nature has a logic

we can only watch, not control.

And that beauty can also be dangerous,

a femme fatale

if you leave yourself exposed.


Which brings me back to the man

who’s eager to be seduced

but still can’t choose;

blond or brunette,

spring or fall,

right or left?

As if every fork in the road

is clearly marked.

As if in a messy world

seasons are pure

boundaries rigid

and men singular.


An ambivalent man

and ambiguous weather

have me whipsawed

on edge.

Waiting for the sky to clear,

knowing

that it’s just a matter of time

until the rain returns.


Sun showers out here today. So what else to write about? Except I won't allow myself to write anymore “weather poems” unless I can make more of them than another same-old descriptive yawner. So this is how it turned out.

How Much It Misses - May 23 2025

 

How Much It Misses

May 23 2025



I’ve never been to The Grand Canyon,

peered over the edge

where the earth falls away,

climbed down to its depths.


But still, I find the name puzzling.

The, as if no other canyon

is worthy of the name.

And while grandeur is a word I might say

the only things we call grand nowadays

are openings

pianos

and fathers,

as well as the clock named after him.

A Hotel, perhaps,

and, of course

Central Station in New York,

its Beaux-Arts Concourse

worthy of the name.


The attraction?


Could it be our innate love of the view?

Prey creatures

who favour unobstructed sight,

the high ground,

room to flee.


Is it be our sense of awe

when we feel humbled

by objects and forces

so much greater than ourselves?


Or perhaps it’s the wonder

of something so singular,

wrought

over a span of time

no human mind can grasp?


Which you can see

in a sheer cliff wall;

strata upon strata

like a time capsule

of the great convulsions of earth;

the history of the planet

preserved in rock

before your eyes.


Only in real life

feet on the ground

will I begin to see the world;

the beauty of nature

as well as its menace.

And only standing there

will I feel my inconsequence.

If not on the brink looking down

then its cool bottom

beside a waterfall,

squinting up at the sun

when it briefly appears.


But the would still be presumptuous.

Because on Mars, there’s a canyon 6 miles deep

over 2,000 long.

And the deepest ocean rift

is also 6 miles.


Now this is truly grandeur

too deep to clearly see

with the unaided eye,

too much to take in

in a single glance.


Our smallness, even smaller.

And imperfect human sight;

unaware

how much it misses

how little it sees.


The Year Without Summer - May 20 2025

 

The Year Without Summer

May 20 2025


The year of no summer.


Not glaciers, exactly.

After all, songbirds sang

flowers bloomed.

and crabgrass grew.

Skittish deer

still gobbled up my broccoli

and nibbled on my carrot tops,

ate all the hostas

to the roots.


If anything

it was actually green and lush

and unusually hot.

Ice cream melted

just as before,

a half-finished cone

turning to mush

in a sticky-fingered hand.


Which I'd lick clean, as one does,

but there was no chocolate rush

no desire for more.

And what was this numbness

in the summer warmth,

darkness

in full daylight;

was it simply my eyes

failing to adjust?

And why did I remain

behind closed doors

with sun-warmed sand so tempting?


While the long summer days

felt even longer,

as if a weary earth

was circling slower and slower,

quietly wondering

just what for?


In the 16th century

a “little ice age” began

that would last a few hundred years;

crops withered

there were “frost fairs” on the Thames.

Was the medieval God displeased

by the faithful transgressing

the faithless who sinned?

An Old Testament God

who is quick to judge

and not so well tempered

when His mercy is strained.


But clearly, this year of no summer

was neither theological

nor nature run amok.

Something else

must have gotten into me.


Meteorology comes from meteor,

as if shooting stars

were augurs and portents,

the cosmos

determined our fate.

So perhaps it was extra-terrestrial,

like aliens

beaming up my comatose body

to probe and explore,

a worm hole

I somehow got caught in.


A paralyzing cold

that went more than skin deep,

its crystals

with their sharpened arms and brittle points

cutting to the heart of me.


My poems are rarely autobiography. This one isn’t either. It’s not the last desperate plea of a depressed man.

Rather, what led to it was another cool day in late May (definitely unseasonable), which brought to mind what has been called the “little ice age”. According to the New Yorker (see below for the link), it began in 1570, and lasted for centuries. Although the world first started to turn colder around 1300, and later — in 1815 —the Tambora eruption in Indonesia (the most powerful in recorded history) caused “the year without summer”: crops failed, the Thames froze. (Although the last “frost fair” — one of many — was in 1814, apparently another cold year.) Only in the late 19th century did a warming trend begin, and — accelerated by greenhouse gas caused climate change — it continues today. So our notion of "normal" may not be normal at all!

I started with that simple line, and as I wrote on, the metaphor just wormed its way in.

But it’s not me; because while I may be a bit more blue than usual (a blue mood being the resting state of nihilists, pessimists, misanthropes, and over-thinkers like me!), I’m not this black!


(How the Little Ice Age Changed History

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/04/01/how-the-little-ice-age-changed-history).



Monday, May 19, 2025

Self-Regard - May 19 2025

 

Self-Regard

May 19 2025


The face that looks back at me

mirrored in glass

is not what others see

nor how I’m seen.


Not just 2-dimensional.

Not just left-to-right and right-to-left

  — the part reversed

nose somehow off

snaggletooth wrong —

but what they see of me

or don’t.


Nothing behind

the pursed lips

impervious eyes

sternly held jaw.

Nothing but the façade

I shelter behind

and present to the world.


Even the pupils won’t let them in;

no windowing

no depth or glimpse,

just a flat reflective surface

toying with light

and cleverly matching

my every move.


I avoid looking in mirrors.

Even in good light

and unobserved

such self-regard seems unbecoming.

And really

I mostly see the flaws.


Standing as close as I am

the cold glass starts misting up.

The image steadily blurs,

like the soft focus headshot

of an ageing star.

And soon enough I vanish

behind my breath

relieved not to look.


An inscrutable magician

who can make himself invisible

at will;

breathe slowly out

all the way

and disappear.


Sunday, May 18, 2025

Beyond Me - May 18 2025

 

Beyond Me

May 18 2025


In the long run.


Our children grow old

and no one remembers.


Our descendants live

in either utopian bliss

or the hell-hole we’ve left them,

because what story is there

in middling contentment?


While the continents keep drifting

oceans shift

and the planet spins

a tiny bit slower

each passing day.


Or we muddle through

and life goes on,

neither catastrophic

nor futuristic

as the predictors insist.

At least until the sun

devours the earth.


Trouble is

I’m not built for marathons

my body doesn't fit;

the long run

is beyond me

gritty or not.


Middle distance?

Short sprints?

A leisurely stroll?

Or just running in place

at a steady pace

like a hamster on its wheel?


Because it hurts my head

imagining all that might happen

no matter the odds.


Because a mere human mind

cannot comprehend

the vastness of time.


And because foretelling the future

is for charlatans and quacks

posing as seers.

Who know that in the long run

anything's possible,

and who will be left

to prove them wrong?


Ultimately, though

muscles cramp, bones thin,

the body wastes

consuming itself,

and if the brain doesn't fail

it's too confused to finish.


No one wins the race,

but we all run

for as long as we can

just in case.


Economists especially like to talk about the short and medium run: predicting employment, interest rates, and all the usual tedious measurements no one will remember or hold them to. They even presume to opine about the long run. But as the erudite economist John Maynard Keynes famously quipped, “In the long run we’re all dead”; which is the only thing about the distant future one can truly say.

And I would have said it as well, except that I'm very self-conscious how much I write about death. So instead of a 3 line poem — Our children grow old / no one remembers / and everyone’s dead — the last line becomes 9 long stanzas! And even at the end, the word “death” never appears: the concept is only there by implication

As with many poems I’ve written, this one is based on reading a metaphor as if it was meant to read literally, then playing around with both. Which keeps seeming clever to me, but probably isn’t! Perhaps it’s just something I can’t help: I pay too much attention to the nuance of language, the layers, connotations and subtle distinctions. Fun for me, but probably annoying to everyone else!


Keeping Track - May 16 2025

 

Keeping Track

May 16 2025



Like the arctic dwellers

who have 40 names for snow

we are connoisseurs of rain.


Light drizzle

scotch mist

a little spit now and then;

cloudburst, downpour, torrent.

Or an all-day rain,

like the 40 days

Noah warned them of.

Thunderstorms, of course,

and those muzzy days

when rain threatens

but never quite comes.


Cloud

suspended overhead

encloses us,

and we feel protected

beneath its dark underbelly

of pleated grey.


Fog rolls in,

unfurling from the coast

and across the rugged land,

hugging its contours

and setting down to stay;

as if this gauzy vapour

had sufficient weight

to anchor it there.


Our people are pale

and melancholic.

Sunny days confuse us,

and big blue skies

leave us feeling exposed;

ill at ease

complaining about the heat

as we squint and blink our eyes.


My raincoat

hangs on its usual hook

amidst the ponchos, slickers, and anoraks

dripping dry.

My sou’wester hat

is a bright yellow splash

against earth-tones and camouflage.

Gumboots

stand at attention

on the long rubber mat;

weary soldiers

in weathered uniforms

tested by war.


Right now, it's pissing down hard.

Shower?

Teeming?

Cats and dogs?


As if names matter.


As if I had to answer

for correct nomenclature.


As if keeping track

could change the weather

make it wetter

or nature care.


Masonry - May 15 2024

 

Masonry

May 15 2025



He built walls.


Slathered on the mortar,

patted it down

with practiced precision.

Hefted bricks

and placed them evenly

end-to-end

and bottom up.

Sometimes, he trimmed them

with a hammer, chisel, or axe.

Then finished

with the jointer of his choice,

if not a bucket handle

then a rat’s tail, grapevine, or flat.


Someone else had dug the clay

formed the bricks

and fired them.


And it was some other man

who stacked them on a truck

and delivered them reliably,

pallets

tightly packed

with dense blocks of bricks,

as big as the man-sized stones

that built the pyramids.


All journeymen, working with their hands.


It takes practice

to make it look as easy as this.

I watch him at work,

the economy of movement

muscle memory

expert eye.

There’s a regular rhythm to his work

that’s hard not to watch;

hand-to-hand

and right-to-left

in a fluid back and forth.

He works swiftly,

and the wall rises steadily

before my eyes;

finished mortar

between evenly-spaced bricks

on a solid foundation

some other journeyman poured.


I wonder if at the end of a day

he stands back

and admires the fruits of his labour,

a good day’s work

that can actually be seen

measured

leaned against.

Something he made with his hands

and built to last,

unlike the daily chores

wasted words

and hot passions

we quickly forget

when the next life-or-death issue

fires us up

with its passing importance.


From jour, the French for day,

an itinerant labourer

going from job to job

when he can find the work.

But this man is no hod carrier 

or go-fer grunt,

he is a craftsman and maker

skilled at his trade.


Who has made a wall

he can proudly show

to the sons and daughters he will have some day;

a monument

to the practical life

of a working man,

who was good at his job

and kept dutifully at it.


I’m not at all handy. I don’t work with my hands. Don’t build things. Am at a loss when something needs fixing. I work with words, which are ephemeral, and don't do much good even before they’re gone. So I envy people like this. I think the skilled trades are not given the status they deserve.

I recall my father driving us around fancy neighbourhoods and proudly pointing out the custom outdoor lighting his firm had designed and made. Of course, as the company owner he didn’t do the actual work. But he was proud of his men, as well as his own part in it. And particularly proud of how good the work still looked, despite time, weather, and the whims of fashion. When he shifted to building tractor trailers (the trailer part) — he was quite the entrepreneur! — he evinced the same pride whenever we passed one. I wonder if any “Mond Industries“ trailers are still on the road?

The poem was inspired by that one word: journeyman, which for some reason jumped out at me in my daily reading. Perhaps because of the tension it contains. There is jour, which suggests a sort of easily replaceable labourer, hired day to day. While the word actually means something very different: a journeyman is a skilled tradesman who has his undergone a long apprenticeship, passed rigorous tests, and has his official papers. To me, this word seems to summon up the dignity of labour, taking a professional pride in one’s work, and having a specialized skill.

I quite enjoyed writing the 2nd stanza: playing around with the esoteric language of some small corner of life. Finding the music in the sounds. Enjoying the feel of novel words in my mouth. I hope the reader enjoys it as well.

(I wasn’t sure if I’d made up this word. Or at least this form of it. But apparently, “go-fer” is OK. Also (more commonly?) spelled “gofer” or “gopher”. But whichever way, a self-explanatory combination of “go” and “for”.


Kintsugi - May 11 2025

 

Kintsugi

May 11 2025



Things break.

Human error,

wear and tear,

the force of gravity.


After all, nothing lasts forever.


The Japanese

who have a culture of formality

have made this an art.


The mending of a broken vase

expresses a revulsion of waste

and respect for its maker.

Just as one must venerate

the elders and parents and those who came before.


While its seams of precious metals

make no attempt at disguise.

The art of repair;

honouring resiliency,

finding beauty in imperfection,

and ultimately accepting

the impermanence of things.


But I’m unsure

how they’d mend a broken heart

or shattered soul.

All the wounded people

who struggle through life

either unseen and overlooked

or keeping up appearances.


There are some, though

who are proud of their brokenness

and refuse to be fixed,

have found their own gold

in difference

or disability.


You can see the scars,

red and raised

where my body mended itself.

And I agree

there is beauty in the strength they reveal.


But the invisible scars

are harder to heal.

And what about those

who aren't made of porcelain,

or are too broken

to piece together again?


Imperfection

that kintsugi cannot rescue

and cannot mend itself.


Taxonomy - May 11 2025

 

Taxonomy

May 11 2025


I used to go out into the world

keen to master the names

identify trees

add to my tally of birds.

Out in the world

but incurious,

more actuarial

than actually present.


Now, I wonder why.

What purpose was there

in this meticulous keeping track?

After all, the names we give

are mere embellishment,

the scorecard of sightings

an act of pride.


So I no longer care for taxonomy,

have dispensed with the Latin

and unlearned the ranks

of species, genus, and class.

Have allowed the living things that surround me

to be in and of themselves.


I’ve learned that if I sit soundlessly

and keep still

I become invisible.

That nature will go about her business

as if I weren’t a threat;

letting me in,

even if

a little warily.


So I straighten up

set my paddle down

and let the canoe drift,

watching and listening

and being as present

as my monkey mind allows.


Riding the current like driftwood

I eye the shore

strain my ears

and train my nose to smell,

unschooled

as human smell is.


And if I’m patient enough

to give it time,

I will feel my boundaries soften

sense of self unwind.